Facts
February 20th, 2012
I know why I wake up in the morning, every day.
My eyes are glowing like never before.
I am doing things I was afraid to do before.
I don’t say “no” anymore.
I love this house like I loved my own.
I live !
I’m going home this week ! My home, Roma !
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February dots
February 18th, 2012
There are times when no matter how strong you are, no matter how happy you are, no matter how good you are, something comes up to bring you down. I entered the building knowing exactly where I was supposed to go and what I was supposed to do. I passed by the offices where everyone was queuing, I made a right, then a left and arrived in the back, on the corridor for the head offices. As I was walking straight ahead, I hear someone calling me… on my other name, the name that nobody calls me on. I turned around in a fraction of a second and I saw her standing there, half my height, really old, with wrinkles all over her face and hands, dressed all in black, with poor clothes. She had big rings on her small fingers. She had a kerchief on her head that covered most of her face also. She was there to beg for a lower water bill…. she didn’t had money to pay it.
As soon as I’ve seen who she was I got messed up and I couldn’t think clear anymore. Everything went away from my mind…
“How are you ?”, she asked, looking very happy to see me, holding my hands into hers.
I couldn’t answer more than “good”… Then she started to tell me how many things have changed since I went away. She told me what happened with my house… that doesn’t exist anymore… she had no idea what happened, why and how I had to run away… she thought I was doing fine, like SHE wished for all HER life… I told her briefly that no… they stole everything that SHE had for me…. but I also told her I was ok… not like that, but ok….
I got out of there confused and with my mind and heart torn into pieces. No matter how hard I try to forget, there’s always some puzzle piece that reminds me of everything… as I was walking in the snow breathing hardly the cold air I’ve seen those images again… I’ve seen her in that coffin again, with my mind’s eyes… and I felt again that big hole inside me, I felt again that missing piece that will never be replaced…
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It’s all about choices
February 3rd, 2012
It’s all about the choices we make. And when we don’t make them, or when we don’t have the courage to assume them, life simply kicks us and make us realize that there’s only one right moment, one chance, one opportunity. Loose it and you won’t get another one. Call it destiny, call it as you like, just take it. Create the perfect stage and just go with it.
I’ve built a so called life for 4 years. I used to be steady, always thinking of tomorrow, working my ass off at a job where I still have no idea if I was appreciated or not, doing the same things every day, being tired, hoping for better but never having the courage of actually doing it. I used to go to school every day, learn for exams, do everything by the book, be honest and care for others. And one day I decided I have to go somewhere or I’ll go crazy with all I had to bare day by day ! And so I left to Asia. By train.
And what an experience was that … I remember being in a McDonalds, in Victoria harbour, in Hong Kong eating a Big Mac and thinking that I could do that forever. Be a million kilometers away from home, enjoying life at the fullest, never returning to my job… That was the moment that made the click and made me realize that I wasn’t living before.
I came back to Romania a different person. The thing that I didn’t found my job back was the click that turned my life at 180 degrees. You would say that loosing your job is a bad thing but for me, that was the happiest moment I had in 4 years ! Someone else did the choice I didn’t had the courage to do.
Since then I met amazing people, I help creating and building an amazing place, I can speak freely and my office is a pub. How cool is that ? 
And it’s like THIS is what I was always supposed to do ! An office, a huge salary, those are not for me ! It was just an illusion that kept me stuck in that place, standing people gossiping all the time.
And what it matters in the end ? To be happy and to be free ! Like me !
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