February dots
February 18th, 2012
There are times when no matter how strong you are, no matter how happy you are, no matter how good you are, something comes up to bring you down. I entered the building knowing exactly where I was supposed to go and what I was supposed to do. I passed by the offices where everyone was queuing, I made a right, then a left and arrived in the back, on the corridor for the head offices. As I was walking straight ahead, I hear someone calling me… on my other name, the name that nobody calls me on. I turned around in a fraction of a second and I saw her standing there, half my height, really old, with wrinkles all over her face and hands, dressed all in black, with poor clothes. She had big rings on her small fingers. She had a kerchief on her head that covered most of her face also. She was there to beg for a lower water bill…. she didn’t had money to pay it.
As soon as I’ve seen who she was I got messed up and I couldn’t think clear anymore. Everything went away from my mind…
“How are you ?”, she asked, looking very happy to see me, holding my hands into hers.
I couldn’t answer more than “good”… Then she started to tell me how many things have changed since I went away. She told me what happened with my house… that doesn’t exist anymore… she had no idea what happened, why and how I had to run away… she thought I was doing fine, like SHE wished for all HER life… I told her briefly that no… they stole everything that SHE had for me…. but I also told her I was ok… not like that, but ok….
I got out of there confused and with my mind and heart torn into pieces. No matter how hard I try to forget, there’s always some puzzle piece that reminds me of everything… as I was walking in the snow breathing hardly the cold air I’ve seen those images again… I’ve seen her in that coffin again, with my mind’s eyes… and I felt again that big hole inside me, I felt again that missing piece that will never be replaced…
Filed under: Personal